Obituary

Obituaries - how are they perceived? Certain obituaries seem as if the family is really grieving, some are more like news capsules, some like memorials. Can we judge what the family is feeling, what is the relationship they shared with the deceased? No, we cannot and we should not.

At a training session today we had to write our own obituaries, about how we would want people to write about us, about what is the mark we would want to leave behind, that people would remember us for, what is it that we hope to achieve so that people remember us. Was it an easy task? Initially no, but once I got down to writing it, it was fairly simple. This is what I wrote

It's been over a year since you've been gone,

But no, you've not gone, you're still there!

You're there when we see the flowers grow on your plants

You're there when we pass a bakery

You're there when we see colourful paintings on the walls of our house

You're there when we refer to your handwritten recipes

You're there when we see the many photographs you've collected and written about

You're there whenever we see colourful bangles

You're there when tea is poured out of the teapot

You're there whenever we see children

Above all you're there when we look at ourselves in the mirror.

You never really will go.

We miss you.

I wrote this from my husband and son's perspective. They matter the most to me. I don't know if I would want them to write about my qualities, my achievements. I would much rather that they remember me just the way I was when I was around.